第十章 等我 (2)
關燈
小
中
大
no idea to let me down again! My Yu! Just believe!
Yuan (retracted the □□ile, frustrated): My name is Yuan.
Si: (puzzled) Do……do you worry about it? (□□iled confidently) Nearly! Sure it will be! You must be my brother!
Yuan (in the expression of thinking something and □□iled unnaturally): So, you are my sister.
Si (held Yuan's hand, in buoyant spirits): Of course!
Yuan (hard to speak out): Can……can I kiss you?
Si (perplexed): What?
Yuan: I’m afraid that I’ll be unustomed to having a sister then. So, I want to rehearse how to kiss my sister.
Si (nodded with hesitating mind): Okay.
They closed to each other shyly. Si turned her left cheek towards Yuan. However, Yuan kissed her lips.
Si was logy for a while, and then beat Yuan with great anxiousness.
When they were apart, Si was still in a state of shock, while Yuan was calm as nothing had happened. Si got the mood of Yuan, she escaped.
Scene 7
Yuan went out the beacon at a loss. He saw Si sitting at the corner.
Si (looked at the distant sea): Even if you are not my brother, we can’t do that.
Yuan (anxiously): Why?
Si: My fate……I restrain the Yang.
Yuan: W……What does it mean?
Si (with a tearful voice): After two years of my brother’s disappear, my father died a sudden death in a car crash. Someone told my fortune that, I will kill all the mening into my life.
Yuan: Nonsense!
Si: Once I had a boyfriend at the university, but he fell ill suddenly……
Yuan: Did he die?
Si: No, we parted in time.
Yuan: You left him, ah?
Si:(Keep silent)
Yuan: I don’t believe!
Scene 8
Outside the hospital, it was raining with great thunders and lightning. Si was waiting under the awning anxiously. She called Yuan by her cell phone.
Yuan (voice in the phone): I’ming! You may go in now and I will be there soon.
Si: No! I want us together!
Yuan (voice in the phone): Okay, I'll be with you momentarily. Wait for me!
After hanging up, Si’ heart was full of vague anxiousness. She suddenly broadened her eyes.
Off-screen voice came in, it was Yuan’s words, repetitive and multiple: wait for me!
Scene 9
In the corridor of the hospital, four nurses were pulling a wheel stretcher in a great hurry.
Yuan lay on the wheel stretcher and fell into hisa, his face was sunk in scar tissue.
Si was chasing the wheel stretcher, her heart was burning with anxiety.
Si: Yuan, please! Please wake up! Do you intend to kill me?
Scene 10
Outside the operating room, Si sat on the bench, sobbing, with her head down.
The doctor from the ambulance: Are you Si?
Si (rose her head and then stood up, with great jitter): Yeah.
The doctor from the ambulance: the injured boy was always twittering some words in hisa. I think I should tell you.
Si (surprised and perplexed): W……what did he say?
The doctor from the ambulance: He said ”It was my fault, unreasonable to blame Si”.
Si was surprised and touched, sadness flew over her face. She choked, turned around and cried.
Scene 11
In the ICU, Yuan was in the bed, with an oxygen mask on his face. The screen changed then. Si and the doctor talked outside the ICU.
Doctor: There is little chance for him to wake up.
Si (choked with sobs): Please! Do rescue him! Please! If he dies, then……I have no way to live!
Doctor: We will try our best, but……had better made mental preparation. By the way, who are you to him?
Si was shocked, and then suddenly saw the light. She ran away.
The scene changed into another room of the hospital, Si was shivering and torn the unopened DNA paternity into pieces.
Scene 12
One year later; in the city where Si was.
She was busy with her work in her office, at this time she got a glimpse of Yu’s photograph putted on the writing desk, then she fell into a despondent mood. She picked the photograph up and looked it up and down. The off-screen voice came in.
Si’s Mother: Dear Si, stop finding him, Okay? We just believe that he is in some place and leads a happy life. Okay?
Waves of tears swept over her eyes.
Suddenly, the telephone rang. Si picked up the receiver, there was the secretary’s words.
Secretary: There is a boy waiting for you in the hall, who represented himself to be your little brother.
The screen gave a Si’s square image, who was amazed and doubting.
Scene 13
In the hall of the office building, Si got off the elevator, and saw the sight of the boy’s back in the distance. The boy was glancing around the space. Si was overjoyed but also worried. She hesitated to move, but never stopped.
The boy turned his head inadvertently. Then the moment their eyes met came. All things in the world became backgrounds. There were only he and she.
Si shook her head unconsciously and backed away slowly. Yuan made big steps to get Si and held her tight in his arms.
Si (Pushed Yuan): Stop! Keep apart! Or else I’ll kill you!
Yuan (sobbed): I don’t believe! I don’t release! Never and forever!
Si was surprised, touched and tearful. She intended to embrace Yuan, but was still hesitating.
Yuan: I’m not your brother! I knew! I……I believe it!
Si: Aren’t you scared? Even if death?
Yuan: It was so hard for me to find you that even God has no idea to take me away. If…… if you kill me one day, then it’ll be a good chance to let me see God and ask: why did you do such an unfair thing to Si!
Si: You naughty boy!
Yuan: From now on, you must cherish me absolutely, because (impulsively) as a man felling into love with you, I am in danger of losing my life at any time!
Si burst into tears, but soon □□iled. At last, her arms held Yuan so tightly that it felt difficult to part them from each other.
The last full-length shot: From the scene of the embracing lovers to the changing white clouds in the sky.
(The End)
03
等我
你相信愛情嗎？相信命運嗎？
靜遠
這片海，在風平浪靜的時候，就會變得很友好，完全不同於思楠對它的最初印象。
它靜靜地延展到天邊，天空是什麽樣兒，它就映出什麽樣兒，想必也是看慣了白雲蒼狗吧，才會變得這麽隨和。
海浪溫柔地、一層層地湧上她的腳背，就像慈祥的母親撫摸熟睡的嬰兒。她就這樣靜靜地站在沙灘上，迎著海風，盡態極妍。
一成不變的白色長裙，一成不變的直順長發，一成不變的淡淡的憂傷。
她，還在等呢。
漸漸的，和緩的海浪聲變得如泣如訴，過濾了她的幽思，於是在她的耳邊幻化成一聲聲稚氣的呼喚：
姐姐，等我……
她的眼眸開始不安地晃動。
遇見
早晨的陽光總是充滿能量，一切都在晨光中悄悄地生發，更何況還有撲面而來的清新海風和淡淡的海水味道。
思楠在清靜的馬路上踱著步子，這是她熟悉而又陌生的海城，準確地說，她只熟悉這裏的夏季。
從六歲起，每年的七月，她都要到這裏過上一兩個星期。她習慣了尋找和等待——對，是習慣。
不這樣做又有什麽辦法呢？難道承認再也見不到他了，就會更好受嗎？只要夏天還會來，她就可以這樣自欺下去。
可是，誰能說得準未來啊？即使是生命中的下一小時、下一分鐘、下一秒，都有可能發生奇妙的事呢。
一個騎單車的男孩從她身邊經過，帶起了一陣風，吹亂了她的頭發，也打擾了她的思緒，她下意識地停下了腳步。
就像看到從遙遠的海天相接處駛來的帆船，她的心裏湧起久違的希望。幹凈的白襯衫，利落的短發，邊踏著車邊跟著耳機裏的音樂哼唱，不一會兒就轉過了街角。
當男孩從視野裏消失，思楠突然變得焦急起來，她拼命地追趕，還一個勁兒地喊著：“餵，等我！等等我啊！”
男孩發現了她，趕緊停下車，單腳支撐著地，回過頭沖她眨巴著眼睛。
“你……有事嗎？”
而思楠已經說不出話，她看著男孩，眼眶漸漸變得通紅。男孩像闖禍的孩子，把車支在路邊，不安地走過去。
“……到底怎麽了？是我……做錯了什麽嗎？”
思楠破啼而笑，這個表情，太像了。
“你叫什麽名字？”
“我？”男孩尷尬地抓著後腦勺，“我叫明遠。”
“你多大了？”
“啊？……哦，應該……應該是二十歲了。”
“你有爸爸媽媽嗎？”
思楠是被喜悅沖昏了頭，才會問出這麽唐突的問題。男孩聽了，有些意外，繼而在臉上掠過些許不易被察覺的悲傷，他輕揚起嘴角，為難著自己，笑了。
“看我的樣子就知道我是孤兒嗎？”
思楠這才意識到自己的失禮，可是她得到了想要的答案。
明遠轉過身去，跨上單車，準備離開這個冒失的女孩。而思楠緊緊抓住了自行車的後座。明遠回頭，疑惑地看著她。
“可以……給我一根頭發嗎？”
厄運
大海邊，傍晚。
6歲的思楠和5歲的弟弟思海在玩沙雕，遠處是湍急的海浪。
“還差一個屋頂，要是有個大海螺就好了。”思楠說道。
“我去找！”思海用稚嫩的聲音回答。
“快點哦，天黑了咱媽就要叫我們回旅館了。”
“嗯，等我！”
思楠一直背對著大海專心做沙雕，海浪聲越來越狂亂，餘輝漸漸被暮色吞沒，直到視線變得模糊，她才意識到弟弟已經離開很久了。
她倏地回頭，看到的是漲潮後兇猛的大海，卻不見弟弟的身影。
思楠的腦海裏，關於那天晚上的記憶只剩下幾組淩亂的畫面：
思楠跟著爸爸媽媽在海灘上四處奔跑，喊著弟弟的名字；
十幾個救生員在淺海區搜救；
媽媽指著她歇斯底裏地哭喊；
還有她自己，悲傷而歉疚地哭泣。
她記得救生員說：應該是被海水沖走了。
她記得媽媽說：都怪你，害人精！還我的兒子！
她記得爸爸說：你怪她也沒用了啊！
而從那天以後，每當她一個人的時候，她的心底總會有個稚嫩的聲音，一遍遍地喊著：
姐姐，等我啊！
萌動
在醫院的走廊裏，在早已被時光無情吞沒的那個夏日午後，思楠靜靜地走向他，抵著窗臺、心緒凝結的他。
陽光被窗棱分隔成幾束光柱，輕柔地灑進來，落在他的身上，便隨著他不經意的晃動，也跟著顫微微地搖擺。
思楠經過幾扇窗，穿過幾束光柱，像個撥弄琴弦的精靈，向他走去，走向從此再也無法擺脫的，命運的饋贈和嘲弄。
他感覺到了她的靠近，發呆的眼神突然恢覆了靈動，他擡起頭，看著她，不安而又憧憬的表情。
“要等……要等一個星期嗎？”
思楠微笑著點了點頭。
他嘟起了嘴，小聲抱怨：“就不能快點兒嗎？”
明曦孤兒院，是由一位明氏慈善家在當地創立，收容在這裏的孤兒們都跟著慈善家的姓氏，他說，“遠”這個字，是他被帶到這裏後，阿姨們讓他抓鬮抓到的。
孤兒院裏的生活設施齊全但卻簡陋，明遠在四年前離開了這裏，現在他帶著思楠故地重游，這讓他覺得緊張和羞澀，他孤獨的童年，在此時此刻，迎來了她的窺視和關切。
他們在走廊裏心照不宣地拖沓著步子，陽光透過玻璃，彌散在摻雜著花香和海水味道的空氣中，細微的塵埃在散射著的光柱裏舞蹈。
明遠不時打量思楠，像是在反覆證明她真的存在，而思楠總會投送給他一個鼓勵的微笑。
“我真的很像他嗎？”明遠問道。
“嗯！”思楠重重地點了點頭。
“他叫……”
“思海！”
明遠眨巴著眼睛，睫毛像翅膀一樣忽閃。
“如果驗證報告——我是說如果，我可能……我可能也有爸爸、媽媽，還有……”他癡癡地看著思楠，黑亮的眼眸微微地顫動，“還有，姐姐！”
聽到明遠這樣稱謂，思楠的眼眶有些濕熱。
“差不多吧，你是孤兒……”
“而且是在海邊被人發現的！”明遠搶過話來，“醒來的時候什麽都不記得了！”
明遠用歡快的語調概括了那段過往，這讓思楠的心裏泛起一陣隱痛，她動了動嘴角，本想說聲對不起，卻附和著他的明朗，輕聲笑了。
明遠羞澀地抓抓頭發，他欲言又止，欣喜的臉上泛起一絲憂慮，他開始陷入矛盾的心境。
失控
傍晚，他們在燈塔裏，倚窗看著那片靜謐的大海。
撲面的海風撩起輕舒的發際，耳畔響起風的清哨，還有時遠時近、間歇有律的濤聲。
餘暉在泛著浪花的海面上播灑出一道光路，直通向浮在天際的那輪夕陽。
遠處的船只如同鏡面上的珍珠，在天海之間悠然地飄搖，一切都氤氳在一片柔和的橘紅裏。
他們就這樣沈默著，在尚無定論之前，這是他們感受彼此、珍惜彼此的最愜意的方式。
最後，明遠深吸了一口氣，說道：“我想看看他們。”
他的要求，在思楠的意料之中，甚至比預想的遲到了不少，可當他真的提出來了，卻還是讓思楠感到措手不及。
她刻意從手機裏挑出一張久遠的照片，那時候，照片中的一家四口都還安好，她只有三歲，弟弟小海還在繈褓中，被媽媽抱在懷裏。
她把手機遞給明遠，明遠下意識地後退了一步，滿懷期待的眼神裏隱現著些許顧慮，像是在問：我真的可以嗎？
思楠用甜美的笑容鼓勵他，明遠的喉結滾動了幾下，他遲疑而又迫切地接過手機。
看到照片的剎那，他笑了，簡單而又純凈的笑容，充滿了青春的活力。
“哇！媽媽好漂亮，爸爸好帥，你……”明遠擡起頭打量著思楠，臉頰上浮現出兩片可愛的紅暈，“你小時候好醜！”
“去你的！”
思楠在明遠的肩膀上捶了一下，兩個人笑成一片。等到笑聲漸漸收勢，明遠盯著照片中的嬰兒，眼神裏是種清澈的向往。
“他真的是我嗎？不可思議……”
思楠怔住了，她抵觸這樣的質疑。
“你要相信！必須相信！我找了你十五年，上帝都不好意思再讓我失望！”
她握緊明遠的手，堅定地說：“小海，只要相信！”
而明遠卻皺起了眉，露出困惑的表情，他從思楠的雙手間把手抽了回來。
“我的名字是，明遠。”
冷漠，甚至顯得失望的聲音，讓思楠一頭霧水。
“你是擔心吧？”
明遠不回應，像慪氣一樣看著別處，思楠卻認為找到了癥結，她信心滿滿地說：“差不多的，你就是我弟弟！”
明遠若有所思，他移回了目光，看著思楠，牽強地笑了。
“那，你是我姐姐？”
“嗯！”
“那，我……可以親你一下嗎？”
“啊？”
明遠突然大大咧咧地笑了，說道：“我怕到時候不習慣嘛，先練習一下怎麽親姐姐。”
思楠不安地點了點頭。
明遠擡起右手，輕撫著思楠的臉頰，這讓思楠有些尷尬，明遠有些不對勁，是她難以掌控的某種情感上的微變，她怕會出什麽差池，於是刻意把右臉頰偏向明遠。
可是明遠突然就吻住了思楠的嘴唇，她驚慌地把明遠推開。
明遠緊擰著眉頭，困惑又乞求原諒的樣子，她的心志亂作一團，為什麽這麽不小心，她早就察覺到了明遠的心思，為什麽不早點阻止呢？
她逃走，涼鞋踢踏著螺旋狀的樓梯，刺耳的腳步聲，在明遠的耳畔漸行漸遠。
夕陽
明遠失落地走出燈塔，發現思楠就蹲坐在墻角。她楞楞地看著遠處的大海和夕陽，一片橘紅潑灑在她的身上。
“就算你不是我弟弟，我們也不可以。”
“為什麽？！”
明遠的視野裏，思楠的側臉被餘暉映照出一輪光暈，他看不清思楠的眼睛，也猜不透她現在的心情。
“弟弟失蹤後兩年，爸爸就出車禍死了。”
“啊……”
“有人給我算過命，說我會把命裏的男人都克死的。”
“胡說！”
“我上大學的時候交了個男朋友，他突然就得了重病……”
“死了嗎？”
“沒有，我們分開得很及時。”
“是你離開了他？”
思楠轉過頭看著明遠，沒有說話，背光的臉上郁結著暗影。她不可以這樣消沈，他不允許她相信宿命。
“我不信！就不信！”
即視
醫院外，大雨如註。思楠站在雨篷下面，拿起手機，第三次撥打了號碼。
電話接起的時候，她立刻做出張口的動作，卻被明遠搶在了前頭。
“快到了！路不好走，你先進去吧！”
“不，我們一起！”
思楠想找補個理由，卻發現所有的借口都欲蓋彌彰，她支支吾吾，等待對方的回應，她知道明遠能夠明白她的心情。
電話裏傳來嘆息一樣的輕笑。
“好吧，我馬上就到，等我！”
掛上電話，她本該覺得欣慰和安全，可是卻莫名地心慌。她看著有雨簾相隔的朦朧世界，想象著明遠在雨裏踏著自行車的樣子，她突然聯想到了什麽，驚恐地瞪起了眼睛。
這時，明遠的低語，和弟弟的呼喚，在她的腦海裏反覆地疊加：
等我……
姐姐，等我……
四名護士推著擔架車，在鋪著大理石的走廊裏匆忙地滑過，擔架上的明遠已經沒了知覺。洇出鮮血的慘白紗布遮掩著他的臉，思楠看不清他，跟著擔架跑出了很遠，還是看不清他。
為什麽是他？為什麽是被她遇見的他？可怕的經歷就這樣無情地重演，是她害了他，明知故犯！
“明遠！快點兒醒啊！你不能……不能……你是要我的命嗎？”
手術室外的指示燈像魔鬼的紅眼，在陰暗的走廊裏突兀地閃爍。思楠坐在長椅上，任憑眼淚溢滿眼眶，再肆意地滑過臉頰。
不知從哪裏傳來的鐘表的嘀嗒聲，和窗外落雨的聲音交織在一起，平靜而又冷漠，像是永遠也不會停止。
嘀嗒，嘀嗒……
相望
“請問您是思楠嗎？”
思楠睜開眼睛，看到一個穿白大褂帶眼鏡的男人，他是急救車上的醫生。
思楠站起身，戰戰兢兢地回應：“我是。”
“傷者在昏迷前說了一句話，我想應該告訴您。”
思楠不知所措，雙手在身體兩側無意識地揉搓。
“他……說什麽？”
“他說‘是我自己的錯，不關思楠的事’。”
思楠瞬間屏住了氣，悲傷像海浪一樣在她的臉上泛起層層皺縮
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Yuan (retracted the □□ile, frustrated): My name is Yuan.
Si: (puzzled) Do……do you worry about it? (□□iled confidently) Nearly! Sure it will be! You must be my brother!
Yuan (in the expression of thinking something and □□iled unnaturally): So, you are my sister.
Si (held Yuan's hand, in buoyant spirits): Of course!
Yuan (hard to speak out): Can……can I kiss you?
Si (perplexed): What?
Yuan: I’m afraid that I’ll be unustomed to having a sister then. So, I want to rehearse how to kiss my sister.
Si (nodded with hesitating mind): Okay.
They closed to each other shyly. Si turned her left cheek towards Yuan. However, Yuan kissed her lips.
Si was logy for a while, and then beat Yuan with great anxiousness.
When they were apart, Si was still in a state of shock, while Yuan was calm as nothing had happened. Si got the mood of Yuan, she escaped.
Scene 7
Yuan went out the beacon at a loss. He saw Si sitting at the corner.
Si (looked at the distant sea): Even if you are not my brother, we can’t do that.
Yuan (anxiously): Why?
Si: My fate……I restrain the Yang.
Yuan: W……What does it mean?
Si (with a tearful voice): After two years of my brother’s disappear, my father died a sudden death in a car crash. Someone told my fortune that, I will kill all the mening into my life.
Yuan: Nonsense!
Si: Once I had a boyfriend at the university, but he fell ill suddenly……
Yuan: Did he die?
Si: No, we parted in time.
Yuan: You left him, ah?
Si:(Keep silent)
Yuan: I don’t believe!
Scene 8
Outside the hospital, it was raining with great thunders and lightning. Si was waiting under the awning anxiously. She called Yuan by her cell phone.
Yuan (voice in the phone): I’ming! You may go in now and I will be there soon.
Si: No! I want us together!
Yuan (voice in the phone): Okay, I'll be with you momentarily. Wait for me!
After hanging up, Si’ heart was full of vague anxiousness. She suddenly broadened her eyes.
Off-screen voice came in, it was Yuan’s words, repetitive and multiple: wait for me!
Scene 9
In the corridor of the hospital, four nurses were pulling a wheel stretcher in a great hurry.
Yuan lay on the wheel stretcher and fell into hisa, his face was sunk in scar tissue.
Si was chasing the wheel stretcher, her heart was burning with anxiety.
Si: Yuan, please! Please wake up! Do you intend to kill me?
Scene 10
Outside the operating room, Si sat on the bench, sobbing, with her head down.
The doctor from the ambulance: Are you Si?
Si (rose her head and then stood up, with great jitter): Yeah.
The doctor from the ambulance: the injured boy was always twittering some words in hisa. I think I should tell you.
Si (surprised and perplexed): W……what did he say?
The doctor from the ambulance: He said ”It was my fault, unreasonable to blame Si”.
Si was surprised and touched, sadness flew over her face. She choked, turned around and cried.
Scene 11
In the ICU, Yuan was in the bed, with an oxygen mask on his face. The screen changed then. Si and the doctor talked outside the ICU.
Doctor: There is little chance for him to wake up.
Si (choked with sobs): Please! Do rescue him! Please! If he dies, then……I have no way to live!
Doctor: We will try our best, but……had better made mental preparation. By the way, who are you to him?
Si was shocked, and then suddenly saw the light. She ran away.
The scene changed into another room of the hospital, Si was shivering and torn the unopened DNA paternity into pieces.
Scene 12
One year later; in the city where Si was.
She was busy with her work in her office, at this time she got a glimpse of Yu’s photograph putted on the writing desk, then she fell into a despondent mood. She picked the photograph up and looked it up and down. The off-screen voice came in.
Si’s Mother: Dear Si, stop finding him, Okay? We just believe that he is in some place and leads a happy life. Okay?
Waves of tears swept over her eyes.
Suddenly, the telephone rang. Si picked up the receiver, there was the secretary’s words.
Secretary: There is a boy waiting for you in the hall, who represented himself to be your little brother.
The screen gave a Si’s square image, who was amazed and doubting.
Scene 13
In the hall of the office building, Si got off the elevator, and saw the sight of the boy’s back in the distance. The boy was glancing around the space. Si was overjoyed but also worried. She hesitated to move, but never stopped.
The boy turned his head inadvertently. Then the moment their eyes met came. All things in the world became backgrounds. There were only he and she.
Si shook her head unconsciously and backed away slowly. Yuan made big steps to get Si and held her tight in his arms.
Si (Pushed Yuan): Stop! Keep apart! Or else I’ll kill you!
Yuan (sobbed): I don’t believe! I don’t release! Never and forever!
Si was surprised, touched and tearful. She intended to embrace Yuan, but was still hesitating.
Yuan: I’m not your brother! I knew! I……I believe it!
Si: Aren’t you scared? Even if death?
Yuan: It was so hard for me to find you that even God has no idea to take me away. If…… if you kill me one day, then it’ll be a good chance to let me see God and ask: why did you do such an unfair thing to Si!
Si: You naughty boy!
Yuan: From now on, you must cherish me absolutely, because (impulsively) as a man felling into love with you, I am in danger of losing my life at any time!
Si burst into tears, but soon □□iled. At last, her arms held Yuan so tightly that it felt difficult to part them from each other.
The last full-length shot: From the scene of the embracing lovers to the changing white clouds in the sky.
(The End)
03
等我
你相信愛情嗎？相信命運嗎？
靜遠
這片海，在風平浪靜的時候，就會變得很友好，完全不同於思楠對它的最初印象。
它靜靜地延展到天邊，天空是什麽樣兒，它就映出什麽樣兒，想必也是看慣了白雲蒼狗吧，才會變得這麽隨和。
海浪溫柔地、一層層地湧上她的腳背，就像慈祥的母親撫摸熟睡的嬰兒。她就這樣靜靜地站在沙灘上，迎著海風，盡態極妍。
一成不變的白色長裙，一成不變的直順長發，一成不變的淡淡的憂傷。
她，還在等呢。
漸漸的，和緩的海浪聲變得如泣如訴，過濾了她的幽思，於是在她的耳邊幻化成一聲聲稚氣的呼喚：
姐姐，等我……
她的眼眸開始不安地晃動。
遇見
早晨的陽光總是充滿能量，一切都在晨光中悄悄地生發，更何況還有撲面而來的清新海風和淡淡的海水味道。
思楠在清靜的馬路上踱著步子，這是她熟悉而又陌生的海城，準確地說，她只熟悉這裏的夏季。
從六歲起，每年的七月，她都要到這裏過上一兩個星期。她習慣了尋找和等待——對，是習慣。
不這樣做又有什麽辦法呢？難道承認再也見不到他了，就會更好受嗎？只要夏天還會來，她就可以這樣自欺下去。
可是，誰能說得準未來啊？即使是生命中的下一小時、下一分鐘、下一秒，都有可能發生奇妙的事呢。
一個騎單車的男孩從她身邊經過，帶起了一陣風，吹亂了她的頭發，也打擾了她的思緒，她下意識地停下了腳步。
就像看到從遙遠的海天相接處駛來的帆船，她的心裏湧起久違的希望。幹凈的白襯衫，利落的短發，邊踏著車邊跟著耳機裏的音樂哼唱，不一會兒就轉過了街角。
當男孩從視野裏消失，思楠突然變得焦急起來，她拼命地追趕，還一個勁兒地喊著：“餵，等我！等等我啊！”
男孩發現了她，趕緊停下車，單腳支撐著地，回過頭沖她眨巴著眼睛。
“你……有事嗎？”
而思楠已經說不出話，她看著男孩，眼眶漸漸變得通紅。男孩像闖禍的孩子，把車支在路邊，不安地走過去。
“……到底怎麽了？是我……做錯了什麽嗎？”
思楠破啼而笑，這個表情，太像了。
“你叫什麽名字？”
“我？”男孩尷尬地抓著後腦勺，“我叫明遠。”
“你多大了？”
“啊？……哦，應該……應該是二十歲了。”
“你有爸爸媽媽嗎？”
思楠是被喜悅沖昏了頭，才會問出這麽唐突的問題。男孩聽了，有些意外，繼而在臉上掠過些許不易被察覺的悲傷，他輕揚起嘴角，為難著自己，笑了。
“看我的樣子就知道我是孤兒嗎？”
思楠這才意識到自己的失禮，可是她得到了想要的答案。
明遠轉過身去，跨上單車，準備離開這個冒失的女孩。而思楠緊緊抓住了自行車的後座。明遠回頭，疑惑地看著她。
“可以……給我一根頭發嗎？”
厄運
大海邊，傍晚。
6歲的思楠和5歲的弟弟思海在玩沙雕，遠處是湍急的海浪。
“還差一個屋頂，要是有個大海螺就好了。”思楠說道。
“我去找！”思海用稚嫩的聲音回答。
“快點哦，天黑了咱媽就要叫我們回旅館了。”
“嗯，等我！”
思楠一直背對著大海專心做沙雕，海浪聲越來越狂亂，餘輝漸漸被暮色吞沒，直到視線變得模糊，她才意識到弟弟已經離開很久了。
她倏地回頭，看到的是漲潮後兇猛的大海，卻不見弟弟的身影。
思楠的腦海裏，關於那天晚上的記憶只剩下幾組淩亂的畫面：
思楠跟著爸爸媽媽在海灘上四處奔跑，喊著弟弟的名字；
十幾個救生員在淺海區搜救；
媽媽指著她歇斯底裏地哭喊；
還有她自己，悲傷而歉疚地哭泣。
她記得救生員說：應該是被海水沖走了。
她記得媽媽說：都怪你，害人精！還我的兒子！
她記得爸爸說：你怪她也沒用了啊！
而從那天以後，每當她一個人的時候，她的心底總會有個稚嫩的聲音，一遍遍地喊著：
姐姐，等我啊！
萌動
在醫院的走廊裏，在早已被時光無情吞沒的那個夏日午後，思楠靜靜地走向他，抵著窗臺、心緒凝結的他。
陽光被窗棱分隔成幾束光柱，輕柔地灑進來，落在他的身上，便隨著他不經意的晃動，也跟著顫微微地搖擺。
思楠經過幾扇窗，穿過幾束光柱，像個撥弄琴弦的精靈，向他走去，走向從此再也無法擺脫的，命運的饋贈和嘲弄。
他感覺到了她的靠近，發呆的眼神突然恢覆了靈動，他擡起頭，看著她，不安而又憧憬的表情。
“要等……要等一個星期嗎？”
思楠微笑著點了點頭。
他嘟起了嘴，小聲抱怨：“就不能快點兒嗎？”
明曦孤兒院，是由一位明氏慈善家在當地創立，收容在這裏的孤兒們都跟著慈善家的姓氏，他說，“遠”這個字，是他被帶到這裏後，阿姨們讓他抓鬮抓到的。
孤兒院裏的生活設施齊全但卻簡陋，明遠在四年前離開了這裏，現在他帶著思楠故地重游，這讓他覺得緊張和羞澀，他孤獨的童年，在此時此刻，迎來了她的窺視和關切。
他們在走廊裏心照不宣地拖沓著步子，陽光透過玻璃，彌散在摻雜著花香和海水味道的空氣中，細微的塵埃在散射著的光柱裏舞蹈。
明遠不時打量思楠，像是在反覆證明她真的存在，而思楠總會投送給他一個鼓勵的微笑。
“我真的很像他嗎？”明遠問道。
“嗯！”思楠重重地點了點頭。
“他叫……”
“思海！”
明遠眨巴著眼睛，睫毛像翅膀一樣忽閃。
“如果驗證報告——我是說如果，我可能……我可能也有爸爸、媽媽，還有……”他癡癡地看著思楠，黑亮的眼眸微微地顫動，“還有，姐姐！”
聽到明遠這樣稱謂，思楠的眼眶有些濕熱。
“差不多吧，你是孤兒……”
“而且是在海邊被人發現的！”明遠搶過話來，“醒來的時候什麽都不記得了！”
明遠用歡快的語調概括了那段過往，這讓思楠的心裏泛起一陣隱痛，她動了動嘴角，本想說聲對不起，卻附和著他的明朗，輕聲笑了。
明遠羞澀地抓抓頭發，他欲言又止，欣喜的臉上泛起一絲憂慮，他開始陷入矛盾的心境。
失控
傍晚，他們在燈塔裏，倚窗看著那片靜謐的大海。
撲面的海風撩起輕舒的發際，耳畔響起風的清哨，還有時遠時近、間歇有律的濤聲。
餘暉在泛著浪花的海面上播灑出一道光路，直通向浮在天際的那輪夕陽。
遠處的船只如同鏡面上的珍珠，在天海之間悠然地飄搖，一切都氤氳在一片柔和的橘紅裏。
他們就這樣沈默著，在尚無定論之前，這是他們感受彼此、珍惜彼此的最愜意的方式。
最後，明遠深吸了一口氣，說道：“我想看看他們。”
他的要求，在思楠的意料之中，甚至比預想的遲到了不少，可當他真的提出來了，卻還是讓思楠感到措手不及。
她刻意從手機裏挑出一張久遠的照片，那時候，照片中的一家四口都還安好，她只有三歲，弟弟小海還在繈褓中，被媽媽抱在懷裏。
她把手機遞給明遠，明遠下意識地後退了一步，滿懷期待的眼神裏隱現著些許顧慮，像是在問：我真的可以嗎？
思楠用甜美的笑容鼓勵他，明遠的喉結滾動了幾下，他遲疑而又迫切地接過手機。
看到照片的剎那，他笑了，簡單而又純凈的笑容，充滿了青春的活力。
“哇！媽媽好漂亮，爸爸好帥，你……”明遠擡起頭打量著思楠，臉頰上浮現出兩片可愛的紅暈，“你小時候好醜！”
“去你的！”
思楠在明遠的肩膀上捶了一下，兩個人笑成一片。等到笑聲漸漸收勢，明遠盯著照片中的嬰兒，眼神裏是種清澈的向往。
“他真的是我嗎？不可思議……”
思楠怔住了，她抵觸這樣的質疑。
“你要相信！必須相信！我找了你十五年，上帝都不好意思再讓我失望！”
她握緊明遠的手，堅定地說：“小海，只要相信！”
而明遠卻皺起了眉，露出困惑的表情，他從思楠的雙手間把手抽了回來。
“我的名字是，明遠。”
冷漠，甚至顯得失望的聲音，讓思楠一頭霧水。
“你是擔心吧？”
明遠不回應，像慪氣一樣看著別處，思楠卻認為找到了癥結，她信心滿滿地說：“差不多的，你就是我弟弟！”
明遠若有所思，他移回了目光，看著思楠，牽強地笑了。
“那，你是我姐姐？”
“嗯！”
“那，我……可以親你一下嗎？”
“啊？”
明遠突然大大咧咧地笑了，說道：“我怕到時候不習慣嘛，先練習一下怎麽親姐姐。”
思楠不安地點了點頭。
明遠擡起右手，輕撫著思楠的臉頰，這讓思楠有些尷尬，明遠有些不對勁，是她難以掌控的某種情感上的微變，她怕會出什麽差池，於是刻意把右臉頰偏向明遠。
可是明遠突然就吻住了思楠的嘴唇，她驚慌地把明遠推開。
明遠緊擰著眉頭，困惑又乞求原諒的樣子，她的心志亂作一團，為什麽這麽不小心，她早就察覺到了明遠的心思，為什麽不早點阻止呢？
她逃走，涼鞋踢踏著螺旋狀的樓梯，刺耳的腳步聲，在明遠的耳畔漸行漸遠。
夕陽
明遠失落地走出燈塔，發現思楠就蹲坐在墻角。她楞楞地看著遠處的大海和夕陽，一片橘紅潑灑在她的身上。
“就算你不是我弟弟，我們也不可以。”
“為什麽？！”
明遠的視野裏，思楠的側臉被餘暉映照出一輪光暈，他看不清思楠的眼睛，也猜不透她現在的心情。
“弟弟失蹤後兩年，爸爸就出車禍死了。”
“啊……”
“有人給我算過命，說我會把命裏的男人都克死的。”
“胡說！”
“我上大學的時候交了個男朋友，他突然就得了重病……”
“死了嗎？”
“沒有，我們分開得很及時。”
“是你離開了他？”
思楠轉過頭看著明遠，沒有說話，背光的臉上郁結著暗影。她不可以這樣消沈，他不允許她相信宿命。
“我不信！就不信！”
即視
醫院外，大雨如註。思楠站在雨篷下面，拿起手機，第三次撥打了號碼。
電話接起的時候，她立刻做出張口的動作，卻被明遠搶在了前頭。
“快到了！路不好走，你先進去吧！”
“不，我們一起！”
思楠想找補個理由，卻發現所有的借口都欲蓋彌彰，她支支吾吾，等待對方的回應，她知道明遠能夠明白她的心情。
電話裏傳來嘆息一樣的輕笑。
“好吧，我馬上就到，等我！”
掛上電話，她本該覺得欣慰和安全，可是卻莫名地心慌。她看著有雨簾相隔的朦朧世界，想象著明遠在雨裏踏著自行車的樣子，她突然聯想到了什麽，驚恐地瞪起了眼睛。
這時，明遠的低語，和弟弟的呼喚，在她的腦海裏反覆地疊加：
等我……
姐姐，等我……
四名護士推著擔架車，在鋪著大理石的走廊裏匆忙地滑過，擔架上的明遠已經沒了知覺。洇出鮮血的慘白紗布遮掩著他的臉，思楠看不清他，跟著擔架跑出了很遠，還是看不清他。
為什麽是他？為什麽是被她遇見的他？可怕的經歷就這樣無情地重演，是她害了他，明知故犯！
“明遠！快點兒醒啊！你不能……不能……你是要我的命嗎？”
手術室外的指示燈像魔鬼的紅眼，在陰暗的走廊裏突兀地閃爍。思楠坐在長椅上，任憑眼淚溢滿眼眶，再肆意地滑過臉頰。
不知從哪裏傳來的鐘表的嘀嗒聲，和窗外落雨的聲音交織在一起，平靜而又冷漠，像是永遠也不會停止。
嘀嗒，嘀嗒……
相望
“請問您是思楠嗎？”
思楠睜開眼睛，看到一個穿白大褂帶眼鏡的男人，他是急救車上的醫生。
思楠站起身，戰戰兢兢地回應：“我是。”
“傷者在昏迷前說了一句話，我想應該告訴您。”
思楠不知所措，雙手在身體兩側無意識地揉搓。
“他……說什麽？”
“他說‘是我自己的錯，不關思楠的事’。”
思楠瞬間屏住了氣，悲傷像海浪一樣在她的臉上泛起層層皺縮
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