凡煙小說

第55章

關燈
爭吵不會有結果,甚至稱作“爭吵”都勉強,整個通話過程,只有於小跳的憤怒和不斷地質問。

陳清這頭沒有什麽反饋。她心灰意冷。既然無力回答於媽媽的問題,於小跳的質問就沒有回答的必要了。

王軍有什麽重要?跟唐宇浩會有差別嗎?問題出在陳清自己身上,換誰都是一樣的。

王軍已經買了菜回來,正在廚房裏忙碌。

陳清從抽屜裏取出一個大信封,裏面放著兩個小信封,分別裝著寫給自己和於小跳的明信片。

她看著那張寫給未來自己的明信片,“何時越獄?”她算越獄成功了嗎?

美國著名的舊金山惡魔島,記載有36人越獄,但真正成功的似乎只有2人,大部分不是被抓回,便是凍死在冰冷的海水中。

陳清苦笑,太有象征意義了。她原以為婚姻是她的監獄,卻不知道,監獄周圍冰冷遼闊的大海才是吞噬她的力量。

她可以擺脫婚姻,擺脫唐宇浩,但是她卻無力對抗這個社會和命運,倫理的限制、道德的束縛、命運的捉弄,她認命了。

她曾經為了愛情,勇敢地擲出骰子,但她卻忘記了,上帝擲出的卻是動過手腳的骰子,她贏不了!

陳清將明信片重新塞進寫著“不語”二字的信封。

另一封是寫給於小跳的,本來是想親手交給於小跳,現在似乎不需要了。她決定趁著還有於小跳準確的地址,寄出吧。

陳清還清楚記得當時想問於小跳的問題:是不是現代人刻意營造出來的浪漫是如此不堪一擊?或者說貌似強大的現代人其實都生活在一個脆弱不堪的世界裏?我們知道我們會改變,卻不知道有多快。我們知道我們終將會死,卻不知道死亡和明天,哪個會先到來。

陳清再次苦笑,於小跳又有什麽能力回答這些問題?

陳清在原文“你怎麽看?”的下一行,寫下“就這樣吧。”

她將信封重新封口。放進包包裏,她準備明天用最世俗的快遞方式寄給於小跳。

王軍來敲陳清的房門,他說,“飯好了。”

陳清應了一聲。起身關掉一直在單曲循環的歌,《Let her go》,但是歌聲一直一直地縈繞在耳邊。

Well you only need the light when it's burning lowOnly miss the sun when it starts to snowOnly know you love her when you let her goOnly know you've been high when you're feeling lowOnly hate the road when you’re missin‘ homeOnly know you love her when you let her goAnd you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glassHoping one dayyou'll make a dream lastBut dreamse slow and they go so fastYou see her when you close your eyesMaybe one dayyou'll understand whyEverything you touch surely diesBut you only need the light when it's burning lowOnly miss the sun when it starts to snowOnly know you love her when you let her goOnly know you've been high when you're feeling lowOnly hate the road when you're missin‘ homeOnly know you love her when you let her goStaring at the ceiling in the darkSame old empty feeling in your heart'Cause lovees slow and it goes so fastWell you see her when you fall asleepBut never to touch and never to keep'Cause you loved her too muchAnd you dived too deepWell you only need the light when it's burning lowOnly miss the sun when it starts to snowOnly know you love her when you let her goOnly know you've been high when you're feeling lowOnly hate the road when you're missin‘ homeOnly know you love her when you let her goAnd you let her go

And you let her go

Well you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning lowOnly miss the sun when it starts to snowOnly know you love her when you let her goOnly know you've been high when you're feeling lowOnly hate the road when you're missin‘ homeOnly know you love her when you let her go'Cause you only need the light when it's burning lowOnly miss the sun when it starts to snowOnly know you love her when you let her goOnly know you've been high when you're feeling lowOnly hate the road when you're missin‘ homeOnly know you love her when you let her goAnd you let her go

於此同時,於小跳已經在趕往機場的路上。

陳清在電話裏並沒有說太多,只講了一個希臘神話,一個關於尤利西斯的故事。她說她找不到答案,所以她不想再繼續著份感情。

於小跳心裏只有一個堅定的想法,要跟陳清一起找答案。總是會有答案的!

(全文完)

作者有話要說:

終於結文了,雖然結得匆忙和潦草,但是也算是沒有食言,我不坑文。

對這個故事原本的設想不是這樣的,我想做一個HE結尾,算是給自己一個安慰。寫文其實是想取悅自己。但是陳清無法回答的問題,也難倒了我,我覺得無解。只好停在,就此結束。

沒完沒了地描述她們的糾結已經沒有意義。正如有個說法,比例尺是1:1的地圖是沒有意義的。就是這樣!

這裏謝謝一路看文的朋友,更加謝謝那些留言的朋友。

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