tops, grateful and wrong footed and unsure. ※I-§

※Just say thank you, Cap,§ Tony interrupts, looking down at his phone again. Steve watches him for a moment, taking in how exhausted he looks.

※Thank you,§ Steve says quietly. Tony doesn＊t look up or even acknowledge it so Steve turns his attention to both the tablet and the cheeseburgers. There are four of them in the bag but he＊s far fromplaining; he wolfs down two of them whilst still reading the first story Tony has loaded up for him, something about a business merger in Chicago that＊s being violently objected to by a couple of other corporations. He can＊t quite focus on it though; he＊s hyper-aware of Tony only sitting a few feet away from him, close enough to touch. Fresh in his mind is the image of seeing Seven back with his Tony as well, and he just knows that seeing how easy and happy things were between them is most definitely linked to the strange feeling in his chest that just won＊t shift.

He flicks to the next news story, then looks up at Tony. Tony is still looking at his phone. Steve swallows and looks back down, barely taking in the headline about some stupid thing some senator said about welfare whilst within earshot of a reporter and his microphone-

※So,§ Tony suddenly says, voice casual and eyes still most determinedly on his phone. ※This is awkward, right?§

Breathing out in sigh, Steve reaches up to rub his face. ※Tony, I＃§

He trails off, has no idea what to say. He feels miserable and confused and full of god-knows what other feelings, ones he can＊t or doesn＊t want to identify.

※Why didn＊t you tell me?§ Tony asks abruptly, and Steve looks up at him, startled. ※What you found out when you were there,§ Tony presses, eyes intense, and with a horrible lurch Steve realises that Tony knows.

※Clint told you,§ he says hollowly, and Tony nods jerkily.

※I,§ Steve begins. ※I don＊t know what to say,§ he says helplessly. ※Look, me and you are 每 we＊re me and you. That shouldn＊t be influenced by whatever other versions of ourselves have done, by what I＊ve seen.§

※I didn＊t see anything,§ Tony says quietly. ※So it＊s not about influence, is it? It＊s realisation.§

And it feels like Steve＊s heart has just stopped with a painful jolt because god, it＊s one thing to hear it from Clint and another thing entirely to hear the admission from Tony＊s own mouth.

※I thought I＊d killed you,§ Tony says, voice rough and raw, and it＊s as if now the words areing he just can＊t stop them. ※And you know what was the worst thing? It wasn＊t the guilt. It wasn＊t the guilt that was the worst, it was the thought that I might have to get up every day without you there. Do you not get it?§

Steve opens his mouth, closes it again. He feels utterly helpless. The small sad smile that twists Tony＊s mouth shows that he understands.

※I＊m going to LA for a while,§ Tony says out of nowhere, looking away. ※A few months at least, got a few projects out there that probably need working on, will keep me busy for a while.§

※What?§ Steve manages, feelingpletely winded. ※Why?§

※I need to get my head on straight, and you need some space from me,§ Tony says frankly. ※Work out if it＊s influence or not, and where we stand afterwards.§

※I don＊t want you to go,§ Steve says, and goddamn it, why is he saying this stupid things to Tony when he knows how Tony feels? It＊s not about what he wants in the wake of his ident; he can＊t keep Tony by his side for stupid selfish reasons when Tony is clearly struggling with this strange new thing that＊s going on between them-

Tony just shrugs. ※You need me to.§

※But-§

※Seriously, Cap,§ Tony interrupts, still looking everywhere apart from at Steve. ※I know what I＊ve said, and I＊m literally kicking my own ass for being honest and not just hiding it, and I don＊t want you to do anything stupid because of what I＊ve said or what you＊ve seen. It＊s got to be what you want.§

Steve swallows. He waits until Tony looks up at him, stomach churning ufortably. ※And if I don＊t want.§

※Then you don＊t get,§ Tony says simply.

The room is quiet and still. The rain patters against the window, soft and sad. Steve reaches out, and Tony is immediately there, taking his hand and squeezing it tight.

※Barton has got your back,§ Tony says. ※And I＊m 每 if you need me, I＊m there, don＊t think otherwise. As Iron Man and as me. But I really think some space is the only way we＊re going to get through this without killing each other.§

He doesn＊t mean anything by it, it＊s just a throwawayment, but Steve feels his stomach clench and his throat go tight because he＊s seen that, he＊s witnessed universes where they have killed each other and it＊s not funny in the slightest.

Tony lets go of his hand, reaching out and pushing Steve＊s hair back from his forehead. Steve lets him, doesn＊t pull away. ※Get dressed, Cap,§ Tony says with a horrid note of finality in his voice, nodding over to the second chair where there＊s a stack of neatly folded clothing that Steve hasn＊t noticed until this point. ※Barton and Romanov areing to smuggle you out.§

Steve just nods. Tony＊s hand drops, and then he leans in and quickly presses a kiss to the corner of Steve＊s mouth. Confused and miserable, Steve turns his face into it but he＊s too slow; Tony is pulling back, dropping Steve＊s hand and then he＊s gone, leaving the room without looking back.

Breathing harshly in and out through his mouth, Tony throws himself into the driver＊s seat of his Audi and slams the door behind him, shutting out the rest of the world with a dull muffled thump. He grips the steering wheel with one hand, wipes the other over his forehead to get rid of the dampness from the rain.

He doesn＊t want to go. Fuck, he really doesn＊t, but he knows he has to. Steve is a walking disaster right now, confused and caught up in everything he＊s witnessed whilst on his merry trip through the multiverse. And yes, Tony knows how he feels about Steve but he＊s not willing to throw his chips in there when the odds are that it＊s all going to go horrendously wrong.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and his hand goes automatically for it. He looks down and grits his teeth as he sees a message from Clint, because he can＊t decide if Clint is being helpful or just making everything worse.

Broe back. He＊s miserable now you＊ve left.

His throat tightens because doesn＊t Clint get it? He wants to be back at Steve＊s side, he wants to be there and take exactly what he wants, but he can＊t. He＊s not going to be selfish about this because it won＊t be fair, it won＊t work and it＊ll only end in more heartache and disaster-

Even as his thumb hovers uselessly over the screen, wondering what to do, another messagees in. This one is from Natasha.

Ignore Clint. If you need to go, go. Just make sure Steve knows why you＊re going and that you＊lle back. Kisses.

He laughs, a short broken sound, shaking his head and tossing the phone into the passenger seat. Natasha＊s words are moreforting than he ever expected them to be, and with them in mind he takes a deep breath and touches the console to start the engine. It rumbles to life, ready to go the moment he puts the car into drive.

He told Steve he＊lle back the moment he wants him to, and he means it.

For now, that will have to be enough.

The tower is still and quiet and feels so much like home that it makes Steve＊s chest ache. He stands there in themunal lounge area, just looking around as Clint drops his bag on the kitchen area counter and makes a beeline for the coffee machine. Natasha is there as well, murmuring quietly into her phone, still discussing Steve＊s choice to leave SHIELD medical with Fury. Apparently, he isn't too happy. Steve does not care one bit.

※Coffee, Cap?§ Clint calls, and Steve blinks and then nods.

※Yeah, please,§ he says, and walks over to the island counter, sitting down on one of the stools. He feels tired already and all he＊s done today is a simple journey from SHIELD to the tower. It＊s frustrating as hell, not being able to function at the pace he could before the ident, but he knows it＊s just a matter of time.

In the back of his mind, he can imagine Tony making jokes about his age finally catching up with him.

He takes a steadying breath, trying not to think about Tony. He still doesn＊t know how to feel about him leaving; relief is all mixed up with disappointment and regret. Hell, trying to fathom that Tony has feelings for him is confusing enough on its own, let alone without Steve trying to work out how he now feels in return.

His gaze wanders across the room, then abruptly stops. On the coffee table is a book that belongs to him, still there even though he＊s not been in the tower in weeks. It＊s next to one of Tony＊s tabletputers that he leaves strewn over the place so he can carry on working whenever he feels like it, and god, Steve remembers when he was last reading that book. He had been quietly reading on the couch, minding his own business, and Tony had sauntered in and said ＆look at this,＊ and simply slid the tablet right over the top of the page Steve was reading. Steve had been so exasperated he＊d taken the tablet from Tony and refused to give it back. It had been such a petty argument, and it could easily have gotten out of hand like so many of their stupid fights did, but that time it hadn＊t. Tony had ended up standing on the couch, one arm around Steve＊s neck and the other hand grabbing futilely for the tablet, and Steve had said ＆this is dumb, you＊re short and I can do this all day,＊ and Tony had started to laugh. He＊d laughed so hard he＊d fallen back onto his ass on the couch, and then Steve had started to laugh as well. Steve had given the tablet back and Tony had sat down quietly and let him read whilst he continued to work, and it＊d been easy andpanionable.

See, a voice in the back of his head points out. You don＊t have to be in a relationship with him for you two to get on.

And then he abruptly thinks of Seven and Tony kissing lazily in Tony＊s workshop,

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